Press & testimonials

Carpe Diem feature in The Lady, 9 February 2010


Extracted from The Lady, 9 February 2010 .......

'When my friend Alison told me she was working for a dating agency called Carpe Diem I was intrigued. I defy any of us not to nurture a secret curiosity about how the dating game works. Alison's job is to 'vet' applicants, making sure that they really do have the 'great SOH' (sense of humour) they claim and that 'curvaceous and petite' does not mean five feet nothing and weighing in at ten and a half stone. In a world of speed and internet dating, this attention to detail appeared initially reassuring - until Alison told me Carpe Diem specialised in the over 50s.

Of course, I scoffed. Fine for men but surely women over 50 were forever destined to gather dust on the shelf? The lyrics of the 1934 song 'Nobody Loves a Fairy when she's Forty' seemed too appropriate - and we are talking about women a decade on. It was hard not to be sceptical about the idea that there were men out there Desperately Seeking 50+ Susans. Then Alison invited me for lunch with the agency's founder, Sarah Howes, who arrives swathed in caramel velvet that emphasises her clear skin and sparkling eyes.

Sarah explains that Carpe Diem is not a dating agency but an introduction service. They offer 'Premier Pairing', a bespoke way of putting people together.

'The secret of successful pairing is the management of expectations. We're realistic and we're not promising love at first sight but we are certain that you're going to meet someone with similar interests and values. We match people up on personality, interests and shared experiences.'

Sarah is fastidious about first impressions. 'I'm acutely conscious that taking the first steps to meet someone new can be daunting, especially for people who might not have much confidence or who haven't been in a relationship for a long time. So it's vital people are made to feel comfortable. If they don't feel they can talk to Alison or me, then we're off on the wrong foot.'

'Most of our clients are looking for life partners. We get a lot of widows and widowers and divorcees who are not after a quick fling, but want someone to share their life with. So we take huge care in getting it right before making an introduction.'

Later Alison tells me that Sarah has several clients she thinks I would like. Sadly, the fee of £3,900 is beyond my budget. However, this is chicken feed compared with prestigious agencies Gray & Farrar or Berkeley International where fees start at £7,000. Some websites, like Drawing Down the Moon, do not even announce their fees.

'I believe in total transparency. There are no hidden extras. We charge a one-off fee and there will be no other charges during the membership period.'

Seventy per cent of Sarah's customers are satisfied and judging by the personal testimonies on the website, people are thrilled to find that the process was not a humiliating beauty contest but a caring attempt at matchmaking. Indeed, Sarah has been labelled a 'latter day Mrs Bennet' by The Spectator's Dear Mary column.

'Dating has become such an intimidating minefield and our approach is caring, holistic and very discreet. We would never put your details out there. Plus, if the person you're looking for is not on our books, we'll go out and find them.'

Sarah is doing so well that, unusually, she has managed to attract more men onto her books than women. 'It's because we're under the radar, we are 100% discreet.' When I ask if I can talk to any of her clients who have found true love or if I can go on a date, the answer is 'No!' So you'll have to find out for yourselves if her formula works. Carpe Diem is far too discreet to let me do a test run for you.'

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The Spectator - September 2009

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CLIENT TESTIMONIALS

13 June 2010

'Nearly three years ago my life as I knew it imploded. My husband whom I still adored suffered a massive coronary. He was only 53 and so it seemed in perfect health. We were happy together and he was my best friend. We could finish each other's sentences. We had been married since 1989 and we had two sons. We were utterly devoted to each other and had never looked at another person since we met in 1985.

I spent two years in a haze of anxiety, depression and breakdown. My children survived but not because of me. Somehow or other last Spring I managed to sell our house which was haunted for me by terrible sadness and ghosts of what should have been. I bought another home for us in London free of memory. At some point a dear friend sent me The Spectator with a note saying "one day you should get in touch with this person". ‘This person’ was Sarah of Carpe Diem.

I moved house and waited to feel better and very slowly I did start to feel stronger. But my self-confidence was at rock bottom. I had no new clothes and I barely went out or entertained or wore make-up. Then one day I picked up my copy of The Spectator and there was the advertisement for Carpe Diem winking at me. I took a huge terrified breath and rang Sarah.

Instantly I felt drawn to her and trusted her. It was ABSOLUTELY that she did not care about the fee; only that she understood my sadness and seemed to want to hold out the hand of friendship to me. No-one else seemed to care that I was only in my early 50s and had no-one in my life other than my sons. And it was not enough to spend my life like that.

I loved talking to her and she made it clear that I could take my own time over this. I left it for weeks and thought about it. She did not call me which I deeply appreciated. I rang her again and we met for coffee close to my home and I liked her even more. I thought, as I still believe, that she truly CARED about what would happen. I recall asking her if there was any chance I might be able to meet someone again. I trusted her to say that I needed to change and do whatever was necessary. But she said I was fine as I was. Then she came to see me in my home which is SO important because she could see what I like, my style, that I love books, my garden etc.

I felt in the safest possible hands. I felt that she would protect me and my boys, that she would always look out for my happiness and theirs and that there was no risk. She made it clear that I could set the pace and go slowly as I had been out of circulation forever. But she made me feel that I could be attractive again and loved and find someone to love. She did not make any silly promises or any assurances; only that we could make this journey together.

I met three men very simply and innocently and when for whatever reason there was no chemistry Sarah simply handled the situation so that I was relieved of all worry and anxiety. Now it’s possible that I have met someone, we have huge amounts in common and there is a chance that we may go forward together. There is every possibility that I am going to be able to love someone again which hitherto had been out of the question.

I cannot say how happy I am now and equally happy to have met Sarah. Whatever happens my life is richer emotionally than it was and without her there was just an emotional desert ahead of me. Now there is an oasis and a dream rather than a nightmare.

I would have trusted her with my life. I feel her intuition, her real CARE and most of all I trust her to protect me and my sons ….. and I am so fortunate to have made contact with her.' Chelsea, London


12 May 2010

'Sarah, I had to write to say hands up, I was wrong, you were right. I really didn't think that in my fifties men my own age would be interested. The media and my girlfriends all told me attractive, educated, successful men wanted younger models. They were all so wrong! I have met some gorgeous interesting chaps for supper and lazy days out. As you know, I'm now seeing a lovely man. We have so much in common, the same values and background and he is three years younger than me! Thanks so much for all your kindness and patience; you have made a quite terrifying journey rather fun.' Alderley Edge, Cheshire


5 November 2009

'Dear Sarah,
A big thank you to Carpe Diem and especially to you personally. As you know, I was slightly nervous about the concept to start with and you did a great deal to make me feel confident about the idea. You have a natural empathy with clients, so it was scarcely a surprise when you introduced me to two very nice women within a short time of my joining. I'm very happy to say that already one of those introductions looks as if it may lead to something more. I think your attention to detail and drawing up a real "compatibility specification" made a big difference. You also helped to steer me through the initial contact and meeting stages with sympathetic tips and encouragement.
With many thanks for an excellent, professional and personal service.' Corsham, Wiltshire


9 October 2009

'I have to let you know how much I really appreciate your efforts in finding the lovely ladies you have introduced me to so far. In three months I have met fourteen of the most attractive, educated women and had a quite delightful time. The level of service is tremendous and although I have not yet met 'the one' I know I would not have met these ladies if I were not a member. I know I am quite fussy and difficult and can be quite demanding! but it's good to know whilst I am running my companies and living my life at 100 miles a minute my personal life is in your capable hands.'  East Sussex


17 September 2009

'This is fantastic, Sarah! You have introduced me to some of the most affluent attractive men I have met in years. I must say that the calibre of chaps I have met through Carpe Diem has been quite outstanding….a really genuine bespoke service, just as you advertise.'  Kensington, London


27 August 2009

'Sarah, I thought you would like to hear that things are still going so well. It is quite extraordinary that John, the first gentleman I met, was everything I was looking for in a partner. I have been on my own for many years and thought finding the right chap was going to be an uphill struggle. I know you saw many men before finally introducing him to me, but it was worth the wait. We have only been with each other a few months but it feels like we have known each other for years. I can't thank you enough for the patience and understanding you showed; you were so helpful and kind and it really felt like you cared.'  Salisbury, Wiltshire

 

 

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